Recovery Day 40 - 26th January 2013

Despite a lovely nights sleep woke up groggy, mainly with a headache, sore cheeks and these shooting pains in my nose and ears, they only last a few seconds but they take you're breath away. 

After the morning routine of nasal spray, pain killers and band changing I got dressed ready for the day.

Matt was working in the afternoon so I decided I was going to make my first unsupervised drive to mum and dads. It was about 5pm when I went round and was pretty dark. I felt so weird driving on my own. It's ok driving on not so busy roads at quiet times etc but I'm reluctant to make longer journeys at the moment as when I get these shooting pains I fear I could flinch and crash.  I made it to mum and dads in one piece and felt quite proud of myself! Feeling proud of myself for such a silly daily routine seems quite ironic as I'm normally flitting here, there and everywhere in my little car and its strange to think that a 3 minute journey could be such a bit deal... But it was. 

I feel this recovery is about taking little steps, in the early days you see a lot of changes happening, stitches falling out and swelling and bruising going down. Now, 40 days in the changes aren't so obvious. This is the really important stage of the recovery now, the time consuming part where most of the action is happening on the inside. Yes I get to see the swelling fluctuate depending on the usage of my jaw but I don't get to see the bones, muscles and nerves repairing. I do get to feel all strange little pains and sensations in my face, which sounds strange as my face is numb to touch, they must be coming from deep inside. 

I had tea with mum and dad, my mum is so cute, she broke down pieces of uncooked spaghetti and made me spaghetti Bolognese for tea. For dessert she put lime jelly through the rice so it was really soft and put clotted cream ice cream over it. It was delicious! 

Before this operation I didn't really think about eating afterwards, yes I knew I'd be on liquids and slops but I didn't quite realise what numb lips meant. I didn't consider the dribbling, the inability to drink from a cup or a mug or eat of a fork or a regular spoon, not being able to blow, sip or suck. Numb gums and cheeks and even under my eyes I could live with for the rest of my life, but numb lips.... I'm not sure. I just hope that one day something in them returns. Mr D wasn't overly concerned at the lack of feeling at this stage, he seemed fairly confident that it will return.

I was a little disheartened tonight when we took my daily mugshots, my chin on the right hand side up to the top of my eye is more swollen today making my chin appear wonky again, putting this down to overdoing it yesterday.   

Went home from mums then went to bed, back to not being able to sleep. I'm unsure why exactly I'm struggling to sleep. It's not through pain alone, deep down I think I'm worried about work, worried about being off, worried about going off and just generally feeling guilty. I can't even consider going back yet. Not while I'm on sloppy food and drinking from a sippy cup with a big fat swollen face. I just need to put it to the back of my mind but that's easier said than done.